Category Archives: Satire

My Name Is Bruce (2007)

Posted on by

My Name Is Bruce is an enjoyable romp into the sillier side of horror movies being too well believed – no matter how shlocky.

Bruce Campbell stars as a caricature of himself. While the movie is enjoyable in the “turn off the brain and drool” way, the extras make the DVD. Heart of Dorkness is truly a fannish dream come true. The harsh realities of the movie making experience are not documented in this – except for many, many mentions of that bane, poison oak. Watch the movie first, of course, but Heart of Dorkness is a treat.

61mPhvzDFrLBack to My Name Is Bruce, the movie finds our hero, Bruce Campbell, filming Cave Alien 2 (or Cavealien 2 – see the mockumentary, Making of Cavealien 2, on the DVD) when an erstwhile teenaged fan unleashes Guan Di, the Chinese god of war, the dead, and bean curd. Bean curd is important here! (This is, after all, a Bruce Campbell movie.)

Now, the surviving teen is, of course, a fan of all of Campbell’s movies and an uber fan. What would such a fan do? Seek out his hero to take on Guan Di.

Now, there is a great song that you will never get out of your head – well, maybe if you hear the Barney Song. The use of stage costuming for the monster is actually very well done – and worth the price of rental. The actor created the costume and his skill shines through.

My Name Is Bruce is a fun afternoon rental with friends. Or at least someone who appreciates what makes a good ‘bad’ movie.

Why My Wife Would Be Scarier As A Ghost Than Alive

Posted on by

Hi, I’m the DH.  For reasons that defy understanding, y’all have voted to have me “guest blog”.  Normally, I try to stay out of my wife’s blogging universe.  DH in my world means “designated hitter” or “Diffie-Hellman”, not “dear / damn / dumb husband”.  But she’s going through a lot and wanted my considered feedback on this most-important and uber-serious topic, so here goes nothing!

Top 10 Reasons My Wife Would Be Scarier As A Ghost Than Alive:

10. She knows their ways!  Really, have you *read* her book reviews? One false move and I end up in a spooktacular prison with a vamp named Bubba, and trashy novels would be the least of my worries!

9.  Already a scream queen, my wife would add bloodcurdling ghastly moans and groans as a core competency.  Eek!  If anyone is gonna be doing the bitching and moaning around this house, it’s ME!

8.  She can really turn white as a sheet, instead of just pretending to do so at those ER visits.  It’d be a royal bitch to find her on Halloween, a fabric sale, or a goth parade…

7.  Being unfettered by her body, she could check out when the patio furniture is going on sale ANYTIME SHE WANTS!  And she would HAUNT ME OVER IT!!!  And she absolutely WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I AM DEAD!

6.  She could score leading roles in straight-to-DVD epics like “Ghost 2: Demi Needs Money” and “Beetlejuice 3: Revenge of the Elder Wyrm”.  Some movies don’t need sequels, damnit!

5.  As everyone knows from the movies, haunted houses are places everyone wants to come over and visit, at all hours of the day or night.  I like my privacy and my quiet time!

4.  Our Pekingese dog, being a spirit guardian, would be compelled to take her side in every argument.  She wouldn’t even have to bribe him with treats!  I’d be outnumbered, always.  <sobs>

3.  Being a ghost gives her ANOTHER excuse to not do something with all her knitting clutter.  Between medical woes and “the dog put me to sleep”, you’d think she’d have enough excuses, but NOOOoo…

2.  Fear of the unknown!  My wife is smart and capable, and will undoubtedly find other spectral ways to torment me that I haven’t listed.  Maybe she wants me to write this to give her ideas…?

1.  As my mind-numbing experience with insurance companies has shown me, death is only the beginning.  There’s no checkbox for “ghost”. I’d be on the phone for weeks and years… the horror, the HORROR!

But, on the brighter side, she’ll certainly get that gig hosting Ghost To Ghost Radio like she’s always wanted.