Category Archives: Dear Husband

When Your Beloved Loves Media You Hate – And Has to Share

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In a cruel twist of fate, Netflix’s Watch It Now has Dune. For some unfathomable reason, my husband and his best friend love this movie. I not only hate the movie, I hate the novel as well.

He had to watch it. This was a visceral need, it seemed. He felt that it was one of those things that had to be shared as well.

Did it stop there? Oh no. He found something worse – something he admitted was “cracky” bad. What was it? Star Slammer. Imagine if you will, combining the production values of a fan film with 70s bad acting and lots of excuses to show naked breasts. This movie, however, did not have the finesse of a Troma film. No. It was just atrocious.

Now, I do like the occasional bad movie. Some my husband and I share a perverted love for. One such movie is Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus:

 

This is a movie with no false advertising!

So, anything you and your love torture each other with?

The Universe Conspires

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Last week Monday I tried to get a prescription refilled. This particular drug is not supposed to be stopped suddenly, so I called three business days prior to running out. I even got a call back to clarify what I needed.

On Thursday, I went to get my port flushed – a way to avoid L.ovenox. The nurses took one look at me and made me see the PA, Ms. Clarity. I was informed I had the stomach flu that has been going around. As per usual, she asked me about any prescriptions I might need. For some reason, I had a hunch that Dr. Sunshine’s office had not called in my prescription. I was right.

I called Dr. Professor’s office and asked that Ms. Clarity call in the prescription. I then went home and found myself sleeping until the next day.

My DH went to pick it up later that night to find that the pharmacy’s fax had died and there was a back-up of unfilled – possibly lost – prescriptions.

The next morning, the pharmacy did not have the prescription so DH called to find out why from Dr. Professor’s office. He had been on the phone trying to figure out what had happened to the prescription all day when I woke up very late. He had left multiple messages with the office’s staff and the pharmacy.

I called the pharmacy and explained my situation at about 6:30. Even showing up at about 9 to see if it was there then.

Luckily for me, due to the nature of the drug, the pharmacy was allowed to give me a 5 day emergency prescription fill.

So, on this just past Monday, I went to Dr. Professor’s office to get the prescription in hand. The medical assistant who had taken my husband’s message was most apologetic and said I could yell at her. I didn’t. She went to yell at Ms. Clarity.

Ms. Clarity said she had used the electronic prescription service to send it in at 8:42 PM. I asked if she had sent it to the right pharmacy as the pharmacy had said they would call when it came in. She called the pharmacy and they said it was ready for pick-up.

I went to my pharmacy and they didn’t have it. There are two pharmacies on the same road – but in two neighboring cities. The prescription was at the wrong store!

Why did it take a whole week to fill a simple prescription? Is the universe conspiring?

Oh, on top of that? The hard drive with all of my data – knitting patterns, old documents, back-ups, etc. – has become unreadable.

Today? We have a snowstorm to stop me from going to get a new hard drive for my laptop as it is quickly becoming too full.

I think the universe is conspiring to make my life much harder than it need be. Perhaps SMR (my pekingese) has the right idea of sleeping all the time.

Just to be clear. I don’t really assign blame to anyone as this really was a comedy of errors.

New Zune for an Audiobook Addict

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The day before Thanksgiving my beloved Creative Zen 40 GB died for the final time. I listen to audiobooks while I am cooking, cleaning, and crafting. It makes the time pass in a way where I don’t feel like I’m missing too much reading time. It also helps when the eyes get tired to have a book to listen to instead of reading.

417ZyubggULNow, I spent half the night trying to fix it. DH came in and asked the normal, “Did you try X?” series of questions. The last option left was to find a new hard drive to install into the controllers. Well, for the same price I could get a new MP3 player that included video.

Now, video was not a primary concern, what was a concern was an ability to hold lots of music, podcasts, and lots of audiobooks. The audiobook capability should include using the library’s system.

I looked at the iPods and was rather dismayed to see how small their storage capacity was. Most of the people I know who travel or tend to listen most of the day want large capacity hard drives on their media device so they don’t have to do too much space management.

I spent a good portion of the rest of the night looking up which devices got the best reviews. Microsoft’s Zune 120 GB Video MP3 Player (Red)won on size plus price. The comparative iPod is just overpriced.

So, the first thing I did was email Audible to have my Creative Zen deactivated. It is impossible to deactivate a dead device without contacting customer support. It was very important to me to be able to put my audiobooks on the new Zune.

On Black Friday, DH found the Zune 120 GB Video MP3 Player (Red) for a great deal – including the car package – and bought it for me. The site claimed “Next Day Delivery.” Now, they have a strange interpretation of “Next Day Delivery.” It took about 2 weeks to get it. I don’t think that normally qualifies as “Next Day Delivery,” but I could be wrong. (This was Dell, for those interested in such matters.)

Finally, my Zune 120 GB Video MP3 Player (Red) arrived. I immediately connected it to my laptop and started finding all the bugs. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the device, but, like all electronics, it has its flaws. The first one was an error that fixed itself. It couldn’t find music I had burned to my computer while saying it was there. This mysteriously fixed itself after a therapeutic reboot. I had even found references to the issue in the support forums.

The next issue is that I can’t connect to my home network for some reason. I know the password is correct – but long – and it just won’t connect. The error? Wrong password. Nope, it’s the right password.

I have been putting all my music on the Zune 120 GB Video MP3 Player (Red) . I have even bought a couple of things off of the Zune Marketplace. If I were employed (I’m looking!), I would get a Zune Pass. The Zune Pass is $14.99 USD a month for unlimited listening and the ability to buy 10 songs each month automatically. That is a very good deal and I am going to try and convince DH that it would be a good idea for us since the local station that used to be where you heard new music has stopped playing music. Well, except for Ed Love’s Destination Jazz. I’m pretty sure they would have been inundated with calls and threats of loss of support (NPR) if they pulled his show. (The man knows every Jazz legend ever, or so it seems.)

I love the interface. I love my Zune 120 GB Video MP3 Player (Red). And, after a heck of a year, it was a great present for Christmas.

Oh, I have also discovered that you can play the video on a television if you want.

Do you have an MP3 player and how did you come to have the one you have?

Note: If you got multiples of this – including a weird looking one – I apologize. I was trying out a bit of new blogging software and it over rode my template. That is just a great big NO for any further use. I’m sticking with BlogDesk.

A Week of Doctors and Veterinarians

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This week I had an appointment with my gynecological oncologist, Dr. Sunshine, as well as my normal monitoring appointments. (When doing chemotherapy, you get a lot of blood drawn – not as much as during IVF, but close.) I also had to take my poor, itching (from allergies) pekingese to the veterinarian.

Dr. Sunshine had to inform me that I have to stay on pain killers until after chemo because with the nature of the chemo I have, it is just too hard to try and wean off of them until after I am done with my last two chemos. I am on the lowest possible dose, but I still don’t like it. He answered a bunch of questions we had had that only he could really answer – if there were answers. Overall, it was a good appointment even if we did wait two hours to see him. (Practicing out of 11 hospitals means you are a very busy man.) I did chide him about not having anything for Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. (My post is coming for this after Labor Day.)

My poor pekingese! Not only is he itching up a storm, he has developed a bad urinary tract infection with bladder stones. I nearly broke down in tears at the vet’s office when she told us he needed surgery. DH and I don’t want him to go into surgery until his itching and scratching are under control. He has been waking us up in the wee hours of the morning scratching his back and barking in frustration as a very itchy dog will do.

Here is the problem, benadryl does nothing for my pekingese. In the past we have always had to put him on steroids for about two weeks every year. Since it was such a limited time, we didn’t feel he needed shots or such. My mother’s peke is going to start allergy shots, so it isn’t like we wouldn’t do it if we thought it was necessary. While I was in the hospital, SMR developed his urinary tract infection and we had to take him off the steroids and on antibiotics. This meant his itching came back with a vengeance.

Oh, did I mention that to prevent itching means minimizing his time outside while keeping his stones under control until surgery means having him out to pee as often as possible?

Now, the vet finally told us it is ok to give him loratadine for allergies. This seems to be working better for his itching than anything less than steroids has ever.

This was supposed to have been DH’s vacation week and we spent 7 hours in various doc’s offices. Some vacation, huh?

Silly Stress In Marital Money Minutiae

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Mr. MLOKnitting and I have been at each other’s throats of late. No, our marriage is in no danger. It is from too much together time, I think. Let no one say that Ovarian Cancer and chemotherapy is any less stressful than infertility treatments!

Grumpasaurus could be used to describe either of us from Friday until today. This has been intermittently punctuated with one or the other of us saying, “I love you,” in a most pathetic and meaningful way. With that single statement we are also saying, “I’m sorry I’m being such a grump,” and “I don’t mean to hurt you,” and everything else a couple needs to say when we are done fighting – or at least think we are.

How did this start? Well, it started with a toe-up socks knitting book I’d forgotten I had ordered coming in the mail. It was an extravagance! (I admit to the book addiction and will make no apologies for choosing books over food. I am already planning on casting on one of the patterns.) This caused a bit of a row. Accusations of boxes coming every day flew about the air. That most of those boxes had contained pie plates ordered for him escaped mention in his tirade.

The next morning I had to have DH take me to the Farmer’s Market for fresh tomatoes as I have been inexplicably losing my balance without even the warning of dizziness. There he indulged in buying some tomatoes – a complete surprise to me. This man, though wonderful in many ways, hates shopping as no other activity. I thought he was acting so well. The previous fit forgotten for the moment.

A trip to the Co-Op brought back to a fever his grumpiness over expensive lemon juice that does not have corn additives. There is only the one. With a corn allergy, my diet is much more expensive than average. DH was feeling more miserly than even normal as I had dragged him to the Farmer’s Market on Saturday morning and then to the Co-Op to get that aforementioned lemon juice. I then got to hear that buying some lemons and squeezing them would be cheaper and get me just as many lemons. The idea that that would be cheaper in time and money is so ludicrous that I knew this was rooted in other issues.

Now, we all know that men dislike not being in control. It finally occurred to me that the total loss of control had suddenly caused my husband to focus on lemon and lime juice as the root of all of our problems. Somehow, controlling the lemon and lime juice – a key to my cooking, I admit – would regain control of our world.

I was still annoyed.

Some friends from my husband’s side were in from out of town and he spent Saturday evening with them. This was good. Most everyone there was already somewhat aware of the events of the last year and half and thus he could give a quick synopsis to the only ones who did not know what was happening. Their personalities are such that the conversation would quickly meander in a new direction so he was able to escape for an evening.

Sunday morning I heard he was going to get some breakfast. Without telling me he went a visiting once again. Now, normally, this would not bother me one bit. The issue being, in reality, that we had been much annoyed at one another this past weekend. Shoot, I had been pushing him to get out of the house and do something other than work! I was just mad from him being mad and thus that silly cycle a couple can get into remained.

How to break this cycle of nonsense? Well, send him off to visit some other friends for the rest of the day. And, it doesn’t hurt he brought me something sweet back.

Mel’s 60th Show and Tell : DH Succumbs and Knitting

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Show and Tell Chalkboard 2

Click on the chalkboard to go see the rest of the class.

Two things this week for Mel’s Show and Tell:

  • I’ve got deck furniture!
  • A pic of WIP, Lady Entrelac Shawl. (With the furniture.)

IMG 1745IMG 1742

Lady Entrelac is the shawl in the basket on the big table and the chair by the smaller table.

Now I can enjoy the out-of-doors and watch the swans, turtles, ducks, and other wildlife out over my deck.

Now, there will be no need to haunt DH about patio furniture… Maybe I should now start thinking about wood flooring for our upstairs.

Why My Wife Would Be Scarier As A Ghost Than Alive

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Hi, I’m the DH.  For reasons that defy understanding, y’all have voted to have me “guest blog”.  Normally, I try to stay out of my wife’s blogging universe.  DH in my world means “designated hitter” or “Diffie-Hellman”, not “dear / damn / dumb husband”.  But she’s going through a lot and wanted my considered feedback on this most-important and uber-serious topic, so here goes nothing!

Top 10 Reasons My Wife Would Be Scarier As A Ghost Than Alive:

10. She knows their ways!  Really, have you *read* her book reviews? One false move and I end up in a spooktacular prison with a vamp named Bubba, and trashy novels would be the least of my worries!

9.  Already a scream queen, my wife would add bloodcurdling ghastly moans and groans as a core competency.  Eek!  If anyone is gonna be doing the bitching and moaning around this house, it’s ME!

8.  She can really turn white as a sheet, instead of just pretending to do so at those ER visits.  It’d be a royal bitch to find her on Halloween, a fabric sale, or a goth parade…

7.  Being unfettered by her body, she could check out when the patio furniture is going on sale ANYTIME SHE WANTS!  And she would HAUNT ME OVER IT!!!  And she absolutely WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I AM DEAD!

6.  She could score leading roles in straight-to-DVD epics like “Ghost 2: Demi Needs Money” and “Beetlejuice 3: Revenge of the Elder Wyrm”.  Some movies don’t need sequels, damnit!

5.  As everyone knows from the movies, haunted houses are places everyone wants to come over and visit, at all hours of the day or night.  I like my privacy and my quiet time!

4.  Our Pekingese dog, being a spirit guardian, would be compelled to take her side in every argument.  She wouldn’t even have to bribe him with treats!  I’d be outnumbered, always.  <sobs>

3.  Being a ghost gives her ANOTHER excuse to not do something with all her knitting clutter.  Between medical woes and “the dog put me to sleep”, you’d think she’d have enough excuses, but NOOOoo…

2.  Fear of the unknown!  My wife is smart and capable, and will undoubtedly find other spectral ways to torment me that I haven’t listed.  Maybe she wants me to write this to give her ideas…?

1.  As my mind-numbing experience with insurance companies has shown me, death is only the beginning.  There’s no checkbox for “ghost”. I’d be on the phone for weeks and years… the horror, the HORROR!

But, on the brighter side, she’ll certainly get that gig hosting Ghost To Ghost Radio like she’s always wanted.

Mini Chemo / Cancer Update

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So, it seems that just when the 5 day IV emetic wears off, I throw up. Lovely, just lovely. I hate to throw up. I had no more than taken the c.ompazine – for nausea – than I threw up. I had very little nausea before it happened. Yuck. I also have a nice tummy ache.

The protocol used for ovarian cancer is harsh! It has been just about the same for about 40 years. They have improved the drugs that they use to control the side effects – but nothing is 100%. Now, from what I understand, I have been doing remarkably well in regards to my tolerance of these drugs. They are, like all chemotherapy drugs, poisons to kill the cancer without killing me. The particular chemo drugs? Carboplatin and Taxol.

From what I understand, most of the more common cancers have alternatives, but I am no expert. Yes, I will be calling the doctor in the morning about the side effects. These aren’t hitting emergency levels as I can keep liquids and foods down for the most part. Strangely, lemonade is really helpful for the nausea. Who would have thought?

Anyway, I told DH that there were times during chemo that I would wish I were dead because of the awfulness, but, I would persevere. This is, admittedly, only the beginning.

His response? “You are more dangerous as a ghost than alive!” I think he should guest blog about that to add some black humor to the blog. What do you guys think?

See the sidebar to the right!

Dr. Professor and Ms. Clarity Update

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We had the post port / pre-chemo visit Thursday afternoon. It was interesting. Thank goodness I had brought a book that I had just started.

We arrived at 1:15 and immediately heard the doctor being paged to call the ER – never a good sign for a quick visit. Of course, immediately after that we heard at least two calls from other physicians calling him. And, then the waiting room starting piling up.

I’m glad I had book to keep my nose in. Of course, there was a heavily pregnant couple in the small waiting room. They were, thankfully, being very unobtrusive. Then the mother, father and small child came in. This is not a waiting room most small children would be comfortable in. Thankfully, the father did take the child out as s/he was getting very agitated at being stuck in such an unstimulating environment.

Why don’t parents bring a favorite toy or something if they are coming to a non-peds doctor? I mean, doesn’t that just make sense? I seem to recall always having either a book or some game with me when I was a kid. Even small children have games that can entertain them. I’ve seen it when I worked in the children’s section of the library.

Anyway, we finally got in to see the doctor about 2 hours after we arrived. Yes, I said 2 hours. Now, he is usually not running that late, but when the ER calls and other doctors are calling, you know the office has become a zoo.

Once in the room, I explained, once again my concerns about the drugs. Thankfully, one of the chemo nurses wrote everything down and is calling the drug company to check formulations against my allergies! In an attempt to reassure me, Dr. Professor explained the minuscule odds, even among atopic patients, of a reaction. My answer was, “I seem to be living in outlier land right now.” He had to concede that was true.

Ms. Clarity was then reassuring me that they would be watching me very closely the entire time. And, she explained that they have epinephrine, and, if absolutely necessary, I would be sent via 911 to the hospital. Subsequent chemo would then need to be done in the ICU under an allergist’s supervision.

I don’t have the greatest history with immunotherapy. Remember what I said about living in outlier land? Well, I’m one of those patients who did not tolerate immunotherapy very well. As in repeated systemic reactions, not well.

Ms. Clarity also said I would be getting benadryl intraveneously, as well as low dose steroids for the day before, of, and after chemo. I may have been being a pain, but I felt I needed to point out that I have had reactions that took 3 epinephrine shots to counteract and have had enough steroid suppression to get a rare pneumonia. Yes, I am being paranoid. Perhaps I’m focusing all of the fear on the allergic reaction? Maybe, but its familiar, and I found plenty of literature indicating its high allergenicity.

Weirdly, no one actually looked at the port. I did however ask why I was having so much back and neck pain from it. Enough that I have been taking both prescription M.otrin and V.icodin in order to sleep. The tension is so bad that it actually travels into the back of my head. Thursday night I couldn’t even pick anything up past a certain level without feeling pain. It was really weird.

I was told that this isn’t that unusual. Some people just don’t adjust to having the port as well or as fast as others. It still sucks. Thursday night DH yelled at me to start taking the painkillers in a more consistent manner. Did I mention I am not very good about taking painkillers? You would think I would learn.

So, I have to do a peeing plus blood test for Monday. Yes, I get to collect 24 hours worth of urine to make sure my urine output is ok for chemo. I don’t recall if I mentioned that while I was in the hospital, a few people mentioned I was peeing like a racehorse while emptying the catheter buckets. I understand that they have to check certain levels, but hey.

On Monday, they will also be doing the two gene tests that will let me know if I need to warn my female relatives to be checked. I think Lynch Syndrome is more likely than BRCA 1/2 considering my family’s medical history. Of course, the chance of either is rather low, but I feel it will be better to check and warn than to not check. I mean, due to having had several relatives who had had colon cancer and melanoma, I was already doing preventative care for both. (As were most of my relations on that side of the family.)

So, Monday, I also get all my nifty chemo prescriptions that I fill vs. the ones that they give me on Thursday. Thursday is when the first chemo treatment will be. They said it will probably take about 4 hours. I’m taking my nifty netbook to play games or write. They don’t have a working wireless and most cell phones don’t get any service in their location.

Of course, that we got out of there at 4 PM irritated DH to no end. He was grouchy and grumpy the rest of the evening – except for when I fed him pasta. He’s a good man, but this is getting to him. Of course, without his beard and mustache I feel like I have robbed the cradle!

F*@! This Hurts

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I know the why of letting you feel more of the pain with the port insertion. I come from a family of folks who will work through the pain. It feels like when you throw out your shoulder, but more irritating. I get that it is so you don’t go do stupid things. It still hurts.

I didn’t type this yesterday because I couldn’t type with my left hand yesterday. Lifting my arm that much irritated heck out the area on my chest where they put the port. I just hope it really does make it easy for them to get to the darned veins for the blood draws and chemo.

DH claims the nurses said it should be gone by Monday or so. Since I was making comments about how wrong the taste combination of lobster and chocolate would be from the anesthetic, I have no recall of that conversation. Yes, the brain filter and randomization algorithm that monitors the brain seem to have quit working while I was waking up. I was going from the Book of Job and how everyone around him got a sucky deal to Iron Chef type taste combinations. Or, at least, from what I remember.