In a time of insanity, I volunteered to run programming for a local science fiction and linux convention. Why do I mention this? The hullabaloo around the BlogHer’09 problems. DH has forbidden me from doing this again, btw. Many spouses have done the same for their significant others. I wonder why…

I think BlogHer’s conference people could learn from SMOFs. Wait, I need to define SMOFs, don’t I? SMOFs are Secret Masters Of Fandom. Fandom is science fiction fandom. Somehow, on a shoestring budget, fans are able to run a ton of conventions that meet the needs of hobbyists, semi-professionals, and professionals. Of course, all SMOFs are insane.

Let’s take a look at what is involved at a science fiction convention. The leader of the insane is known as the ConChair. This is the person who supervises all of the other lunatics running the various departments. There is normally an assistant or three ConChair as well. These foolishly brave individuals are normally slated to become ConChair in the next year or three. Working that closely with the ConChair means you get a bit of the headache. For some reason, ConChairs rarely last more than 3 years. Hrm…

The largest jobs after the ConChair are those of the Consuite Chair, Programming Chair, and Registration. The Treasurers I have spoken with tell me their job isn’t that bad. I would disagree, but then remember that all of them are accountants and are thus from another planet than me. Publicity and Program Book are reliant on everyone else doing their jobs, so have a different kind of stress.

In Michigan there are our famous ConSuites. The ConSuite is the place paying members can go throughout the conference to find munchies – not meals – munchies. Meals you are on your own for unless you pay for the banquet on Saturday night – or a coffee clutch. If you are over 21, you can even get good beer in the ConSuite. The ConSuite is also where new victims, er, SMOFs, are recruited to run the following year’s conventions. The people who know how to run a successful ConSuite are worth their weight in gold. They always have their own budget and staff.

Next, of course, is the person who negotiates the hotel contract. Believe it or not, Science Fiction Conventions are known for how well-behaved we are compared to other convention and conference goers. We know we freak out hotel staff with our costuming and live action role-playing games, so we enforce most rules with a Zero Tolerance Policy. Hotel contracts get easier with repeat visits to the same hotels. Most of the time, WorldCons are at sites that have larger regional / national conventions so the hotels know what to expect. Everything is nailed out in these contracts. The people that do these contracts are highly skilled. I’m not among them, but, I have great respect for the folks who do this particular bit of preparation.

As to Zero Tolerance? Yes, we do throw people out without a refund. This is a very effective deterrent since that means the person can no longer get to the great food and beer in the ConSuite. For that matter, they can’t attend any of the awesome parties that happen each night.

The negotiated hotel contract is vital for programming to know what space they are going to have, room rates, corkage fees, etc. All of that has to be known up-front in order to avoid a variety of disasters and misunderstandings.

Now, programming, which for some reason I keep blocking out, has several subdepartments. At a science fiction convention, there is usually the general fannish track, the Art and/or Filk Track, the Gaming Track, and, in the case of the linux convention, the Technical Track. Several Michigan conventions also have a Science Track because, after all, it is Science Fiction. Many also have writing workshops with limited sign up space because it is Science Fiction. Each of these tracks will have a sub-head to run the minutiae of the track. The Programming Head often doubles as the general fannish track head, but not always. Larger conventions may also have a children’s track, anime track, etc.

Programming is hard. Think banging head against brick wall hard? You get to wrangle up panelists. You have to come up with descriptions for each of the panels. You have to make certain not to put mortal enemies on the same panel without having someone who can keep them from reenacting Dragonball Z during the panel between them. You have to make sure to give your panelists and GoHs (Guests of Honor) enough time to eat, sleep and take care of worldly needs even as you abuse them to maximize your are trying to create a panel for everyone.

No one is ever 100% happy with your choices. It just won’t happen. The Filkers (type of musician) will complain they were too close to someone whose noise interrupted their quieter group. If they are in a nice quiet area, they will complain no one can find them. Some will complain that there wasn’t enough dinner hour programming while others complain that the dinner hour programming made it impossible to get to the best panels. It really is a no win situation. Oh, and programming gets blamed when life happens such that a panel must be cancelled or changed.

Now, all is not gloom and doom. You roll with the punches and can create awesome new programming from what is learned from the panels of the year before.

Now, before utter insanity came into being, I often ran the Dance in association with the Masquerade. There are fan groups that are 100% devoted to only the Masquerade and can swoop in and run yours within your guidelines. There are folks who can run Gaming, Filk, and other tracks. It is wrangling all of those folks that gets hard.

The Party Quandary

Now, as to parties. Fandom has parties. Some are official – the ConSuite might be considered a party. Some are private. Some are open to anyone making their way through. Anything that is advertised on the bulletin boards or such must meet certain rules. Those rules vary from convention to convention, but, they all tend to have the same flavor.

Party floors are designated with the hotel contract. If you are going to have a party, you must be on a designated party floor. They are not tolerated on the “quiet floors.” (Because mature SF Conventions tend to sell out hotels – and even overflow hotels – this is rather easily managed.) Badge checking must be enforced at the parties, just like the ConSuite. This enforces two rules – paying attendees only, and no one under 21 at inappropriate parties.

Another thing that is done to encourage public parties that encourage mixing is to hold party contests. A popular prize is that a portion – or even all – of the hotel room costs are picked up by the convention for the winning party. This encourages some truly original parties. These contests may be up for popular vote, or, a group of judges is selected from crusty old fans who have “seen it all.”

As to private parties? There are such things as the Port Tastings and ElvenToast that are invite only that everyone knows about. I’m pretty sure I could get an invite, but haven’t got an interest in either so why bother. There are also the Mad Scientist parties – invite only – where they discuss their continued attempts to achieve low earth orbit from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Why yes, they did all go to Northern Michigan University where there is more snow than sense in the middle of winter. Some of the private parties are business related. Some are not. No one even thinks to be offended because they know to be low-key. Well, as low-key as a party at a Science Fiction Convention can be.

SWAG?

Give me a break. SWAG is going to exist at every conference and convention ever that has existed or will exist. That’s the one I think is the funniest.

I think that the BlogHer folks could learn a lot from the fannish convention community. As long as this post is, I have barely scratched the surface of what is involved by an all volunteer organization in creating a place that is welcoming of hobbyists, semi-professionals, and professionals.

You want to know something really telling? I’m not allowed to give out names, but the big convention runners of Usenix all started out running science fiction conventions.