Don’t.

Ok, so it is not always feasible not to use air travel. Not only do I have a constant fear of exposure to popping popcorn within the airport, I have to carry food if I don’t want to starve. So, where does that lead someone like me – especially with the new TSA rules?

Well, solid foods, for the most part, are still safe to carry with you, providing you remember to bring them. Of course, this limits the other carry-ons you can bring. (Have to keep the laptop, purse, medications, and, of course, a small book or knitting project with me to keep me from going insane from not being the driver.)

Notice that I am not suggesting even trying to eat at a restaurant? There is a very good reason for that. Even if the restaurateur claims their food is safe, there is a very good chance that the meat, salad, etc., that they are claiming is safe has been washed with a citric acid derived from corn. Under the Codex Alimentarius the manufacturer is not required to label it.

French fries might be safe? No. Vegetable oil is almost always going to contain some corn oil.

Baked potato? You are in an airport. Do you think a plain baked potato is in the offing anywhere? Most restaurants only keep their fastest of fast foods on the airport dining list.

Why am I posting this?

Well, I had to quickly board a plain for an unexpected trip (medically related – so had medications to bring, too). The trip was expected, but we had to leave much earlier than expected.

I was busily scrambling to get such necessities as clothes, medications, a dog/house sitter, and various sundries together, that I just forgot to put some pear bars into my purse to keep me from starving. (There is a reason I am somewhat stingy with my food. Food Allergy is a very expensive disease.) I had fixed some devil’s food cupcakes, but forgot them on the counter in my kitchen.

It did not help that due to the medical nature of the trip, I had to carry quite a few items that I would not normally be carrying.

Of course, this happened on the Saturday Midway and O’Hare decided to get hit with a snowstorm. What happens when Midway and O’Hare can’t move flights? Everything in the air starts to shut down or have delays.

So, there DH and I were wanting to get on a plane. We arrived at the airport at around 10:15 for a 12:20 flight. Our flight was canceled.

We got to the ticket agent about the time our flight was supposed to have left. Why was this? We were on time, however, some idiots were monopolizing 3 ticket agents for over an hour! You would think that customer service values would have dictated that the airline find out who was on the flight that was just canceled due to weather and pull them ahead for rebooking. But, that would have made sense. Nothing in an airport makes sense.

So, when we get to the counter, the booking agent puts us on a flight that is leaving in 15 minutes. Um… We hadn’t been through TSA yet. I carry an epi-pen all of the time, and, have been stopped due to that, this day I had a ton of medications with me. (It does not happen often, but it does happen.) I was also carrying my purse and laptop. Since you have to take out your laptop and take off your shoes, the minimum amount of time to get through TSA is at least 15 minutes. This day was no exception.

We got out of the TSA line to see our flight taxi away from the gate. The agent then set about giving us a couple of alternatives:

• Fly to Nashville, TN then to LAX
• Fly to Baltimore, MD, then Nashville, TN then to LAX

DH made the observation that the snow was more likely to shut down Baltimore than Nashville, so we got to spend 5 hours cooling our heels in the Nashville airport.

Now, I hate airports, but I hate going through security lines more. I don’t object to security, per se. It is just that the set up defies common sense in the way it is instantiated as far as I am concerned. I’m not a queuing theory maven, but there has to be a better way, and if you are carrying injectibles, every time you go through is a time that is more likely to create a delay due to randomization algorithms used to determine who will get the detailed search. (Randomization algorithms do make sense, but, no one gladly gets to carry these medications, trust me.)

My DH, on the other hand, loves to create long layovers so he can exit the airport, investigate the area, and then explore. Once I’m in the system I have no desire to leave until I am at my destination. This makes traveling by air – unless a direct flight – somewhat stressful for the two of us traveling together. (I also prefer to travel by car – he doesn’t. I think nothing of a 24 or 48 car drive, because I have at least the illusion of control.)

Now, let’s think about this.

Do you think the flight we got rescheduled on left soon after our original flight? Nope, 2 hours had to pass by before we got to our Nashville flight.

The flight from Nashville to LAX had its gate changed exactly 30 minutes before it was supposed to depart. So, we got into the air and they served the normal snacks – none of which are safe for me as a corn-allergic (and other allergic) individual. I slept most of the flight. Yes, I am that awful passenger that can sleep anywhere and have been known to be in a business suit snoring on a plane.

We arrived at LAX at 9:00 PM Pacific. Got our bags and then tried to get the bus for our car rental agency. The first bus never even stopped. The second bus came about 20 minutes later. By this time it was 10 PM Pacific. Another 20 minutes at the car rental place and, we got our car.

Now, we did the smart thing and called the hotel for directions. You would think that this would have worked. Except the directions we were given included taking “5 to Pacific.” Those in LA / Glendale know that that is not even possible. But, we called 3 times and got the same directions before stopping.

We stopped at a gas station where a young woman was talking to a bunch of her friends and had a Yahoo! Maps gadget. She put the address into her gadget and gave us accurate directions. We were supposed to be taking “5 to Western.”

Now, this took until 12:30 AM to accomplish. By this time I am tired and very hungry. We have an appointment the next morning at 11:30 AM and the only thing I cared about was getting food. I wanted to know where the nearest 24 hour grocery was on the off chance I would find something! There is a 24 hour Ralph’s (the same as Kroger where I am from.)

Of course, DH is cranky and tired – despite a large meal in Tennessee – and starts nagging me.

I should give kudos to the restaurant in Tennessee for trying. It was just that they aren’t going to know for sure what is safe. If you don’t take the time to actually call the manufacturer, the chances are very great that there is going to be corn in it. And since I tend to get sick from airplanes, I don’t want to take any more chances than I have to. (Airplanes often equal a sinus infection for me.)

Since he didn’t put me on the car as a secondary driver, it isn’t like I can drive myself there! He actually expected that I could quickly go in and out of an unknown grocery store quickly. Guess what, corn allergy + unknown grocer = TIME. You have to read and cipher the ingredients list. It isn’t just reading, you have to figure out questions like:

• Is this manufactured on a line known to have corn contamination?
• Is this a generally safe or unsafe manufacturer?
• Have I eaten the equivalent safely in the past?

Now, if there were such a creature as a 24 hour Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s it would be easy. But since all of the labeling indicated that the Kroger clone known as Ralph’s has the same basic off-brand products from the same manufacturing lines, I was golden. It was just a matter of finding stuff.

So, after over 12 hours without any food whatsoever, I was finally able to cook something up. They had Foster Farms chicken – one of the few “safe” chickens for corn-allergics who do not react to corn-feed meats! I needed protein and cooked this up in about another 45 minutes.

Oh, I did mention, that if you have corn allergies, always stay in a place with at least a kitchenette?

I will blog at a later date of how much easier it is to travel by car with a corn allergy.